Place was Village Chak Mukam, Tangdhar Sector; Lipa Valley; Kashmir. Month and year were June 1972 . Exact date I do not remember. I was on a special mission patrol of about 20 men, from 'Bravo Company' of my battalion. I was given this special mission to village ChakMukam in Lipa Valley on the banks of river Neelam or Kishanganga (On Indian Side), on my immediate return from Young officers course from Junior Leaders Wing, Infantry School, Belgaum, Karnatka.
************************************************************************************
"Hullo, one five for two alpha, message over", the radio link of my CO was desperately trying to establish link with me and my patrol.
"Hullo, two alpha for one five, Ok over" , I shouted back into the handset.
"One five for Two Alpha, what the f***ks you are doing? where are you?" my CO was shouting at me.
" One five I have done my task--I have occupied village Chak Mukam----. I have collected the villagers. I am making them sing our National Anthem---Jana Gana Mana-" I was enthusiastically elaborating when another voice intervened.
" Shut up, you rascal. Stop this nonsense--DON'T START A NEW WAR ON YOUR OWN.--we have interrupted message from other side-----they were asking for artillery fire on you----They claim we have attacked them---" Some one else was shouting at me.
The intruder was interrupted by my CO, "Hullo, One Five for 'One- O -Four', let me handle this---I will retrieve the situation". I could hear my Tiger (CO) sounding a peace maker. But I was wondering why were they panicking when I had everything under control----villagers were peacefully singing our national anthem , after some coaching, of course.
"One O-four- for one five----Get this rascal out immediately----I want him to be marched up to me". The intruding station seemed to me none other than our Brigade Commander, Brig M ML Ghai--an officer from Corps of Engineer.
My CO was crisp, " Hullo, One Five for Two Alpha, leave the place immediately and move to "Rakhi"---a post held by our neighbouring Battalion in Chhamkot Sub sector.
" Two Alpha for One Five, but the villagers want us to stay on. They were complaining about the Pakistani soldiers and their high handedness---They are----" I was trying to convince.
" One Five for two Alpha, just shut up -----They would come down with artillery fire on you in next ten minutes-----it might lead to some serious exchange of fire----Get out of the place before it begins-----You have proved your point---Now collect your men and get moving-----Be quick------Go to "Rakhi" Post ", My Tiger instructed me. I had no alternative but to follow orders. It was around 11.30 AM, I left the place.
*********************************************************************************************************************
Before I go further, I must give you a bit of a background to this incident. You must know that Shimla summit meeting, between ZA Bhutto and Smt. Indira Gandhi, was held in July 1972. Therefore, before the meeting, both sides had to agree on the identification of certain land marks along which the Line of Control or LC ran. Accordingly, delienation talks for identification of LC on ground, sector wise, by military representatives from both sides, had begun in March 1972.
As a consequence of claims and counter claims, KAYIAN BOWL incident had taken place in our Brigade Sector in May 1972, whereby two of our battalions had suffered very badly as a result of an incident started by us but cleverly exploited by Pakistan.
( Kayian Bowl was in the NOGAON sector of our Brigade. After the war, one of our Sikh battalions was holding defences along the LC. Kayian was a depression with high hills on all sides. We controlled the entry to it from three directions. As the war ended, one of the section of nine men of Pakistan held the depression area. After the war, on humanitarian grounds, our men allowed logistic supplies to Pakistani Section through a narrow corridor. In fact, some kind of friendhip developed and our men ignored some of the acts of Pakistanis. But Pakistan on the quite, had built up the force upto a Battalion strength---by sending men carrying suplies as porters at night. Some would return but bulk would stay back. We did not know anything. They prepared defences at night. We were always under the impression that we would throw them out anyday . We had, therefore claimed that we were in occupation of the Kayian Bowl. When Pakistan disputed, we launched an operation which became a fiasco because of poor assessment of enemy strength. We suffered heavy casualities. Then, Pakistan launched a Counter attack on the Sikh Battalion which suffered extensive fatal casualities.)
It is no gainsaying the fact that our claims of LC were based on map marking without physical verification on the ground. This had to happen because of the characteristics of our Brigade commander. He had made tall claims on territory without physical verification. Accordingly, like Kayian Bowl, village Chak Mukam was also shown as our own village.
My new Commanding officer, Lt Col. SS Sahrawat, was member of the military delegation for delienation of LC in our sector. He had joined us in March 1972, while I had been on the Young Officer's course. I, alongwith my batchmates from Indian Military Academy, Dehradun, did the basic training for young officers only after the war---though we were commissioned in June 1971.
As Lt Colonel S S Sahrawat was the member of the delegation for delienation talks, headed by Lt. General PS Bhagat from India, he had been given map references of places we had laid claims. Being the battalion commander responsible for "Sari Ridge", he disputed our claims of controlling village Chak Mukam. His logic was simple. The village was some 4-5 Kms away from our nearest post at 'Amar Singh Ki Tekri', while Pakistani post was just a few meters away across the Neelam River. He asserted that we can not control it unless we had physical presence there. But our Brigade Commander rubbished his logic .
The LC in our sector was earmarked by Brigade Commander and our previous CO, who had moved out on a coveted posting as Instructor to Defence Services Staff College, Wellington, Tamil Nadu. It was done on the map. No effort was ever made to verify the facts till our new CO took over and he tried to get a hang of it because he was to represent our Brigade Sector at the delieanation talks. In so doing , he had sent two patrols but Brigade Commander refused to accept their version of domination of the village by Pakistan. He had insisted that village being on our side of the river ought to be under our domination. Also, he told the CO that it was his battalion who had given this reference and it was the job of our battalion to sort it out. Truth was that he had manipulated it with previous CO, who had no concern and was going away on posting. Thus, it was entirely commander's doing and he insisted that the map reference would not be changed, as this had gone to higher HQ , some three months back.
(Now you know, as to when the moral degradation began in the armed forces which is now getting to reflect its face through Tehleka -expose on commissions some years back or more recently on Sukhna Land Scam or Adarsh Housing Colony scandal in Mumbai. As a passing reference, I must say that it was not that corruption had suddenly come to army but the disturbing fact that corrupt only had become Generals. AK anthony should know it better because he was party to it when he sheltered General Deepak Kapoor in response to serious charges of corruption against him by his successor in Northern Command, Lt. General HS Panag. Anyway-----)
My new CO had done his bit by sending patrols twice to take control of the village or just dominate it. But on being heavily fired upon, patrols had failed. His repeated observation to Brigade HQ to make the amendment to the given map reference,t was turned down by Brigade Commander . Commander insisted that the village Chak Mukam be shown as controlled by our battalion. It was around this time that I had returned to my unit from Belgaum, Karnatka .
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
It was 8 PM and I was leafing through a magazine in my officer's mess shelter at Battalion Headquarters at Nagina post (Now called Shararat ), when another person entered the mess shelter. I looked at him. His slim waist line and fluffy hairs told me that he was some young captain from a neighbouring unit, who might have come on a patrol to our unit. I got up and wished him. We got involved in a discussion on the 1971 war and how we had captured the Wanjal feature on the night of 15/16 December 1971. To be very frank, as is usual in any conversation, one tends to exaaggerate facts to those who are silent listeners. And I was doing it very deftly, so I thought.
He suddenly asked me, " Have you been to village Chak Mukam?".
"Oh, a number of times----" I boasted.
In fact, it was not a white lie, but an exaggeration because I had been only twice in December 1971, immediately after the ceasefire . The village Chak Mukam is located on the tip of a "Sari" ridge line, taking off from Nastachun Pass (also called--SADHNA PASS---after that Bollywood actress of yesteryears by the same name) over the Samshabari Range, moving south east as part of a spur, jutting out of the Nagina and going South east some 8-10 Kms via some of our defended posts at 'Ghasla Top', 'Brown Patch, 'Left Shoulder', 'Ring Contour' and 'Amar Singh Tekri' . All these localities were captured by one of our sister battalions of Rajputana Rifles (RAJ RIF) during the 1971 war and my battalion had been asked to occupy them after the war. The village Chak Mukam, was located just 3-4 Kms away from the last post of 'Amar singh Tekri', right on the banks of River Neelam. ( It is called River Kishanganga on our side)
As I was bragging about my exploits in Chak Mukam, just then another officer, our Adjutant, Captain AD Singh entered the mess shelter. The way he said 'good evening" to the stranger and paid his respect, I was a bit rattled. AD Singh then, pointing his fingrer towards me said, " Sir, he is Subaltern Rajinder Singh----We call him Rajee---Just returned from Young officer's course".
"Yea, I met him AD, he is quite familiar with Village Chak Mukam---he claims, he had been to the village number of times. Let us see, if he makes it to the village now. Why don't you send him on a patrol to the village? " came the directions from the stranger.
Capt AD Singh frowned at me but said, " Rajee , meet me after dinner I will brief you about the same."
Some other battalion officers joined us in the Mess shelter and the way every one was paying respect to the stranger, I knew as to who he was. I had realised that I had put my foot in my mouth by talking arrogantly to my new Commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel, S S Sahrawat. While I was feeling disturbed, he gave me mischievious and a crooked smile. Later, we became familiar with this smile when he used to pit his young officers in a competition for excellence, whether it was training or sports. He would make one young officer do something and then ask others, mostly subalterns and Captains, if they could do better. It was his way of getting job done in a much better way. We all loved him because he was professionally very competent and a very able leader of men. (Unfortunately he died at Nagrota, near Jammu, in 1982 when approved as a Brigadier---Indian army was the biggest loser)
After the dinner, I was briefed by Capt AD Singh. I was told that earlier two patrols had badly failed due to heavy firing from Lubgrian Post of Pakistan across the Neelam river, just opposite village Chak Mukam. The patrol leaders of both the patrols had been Commando instructors of the Divisional Battle School. One of the patrol leader, Capt VC sharma, had been injured and admitted in the hospital. Capt AD singh also told me that we have laid claim to the village in the delienation talks but Pakistan disputes it. "May be" , he said, " Pakistan has created a post there." I was instructed to move to BROWN PATCH ---a post between Ghasla Top and Ring Contour ----with my men.
Before I went for the course to Belgaum, I was located here at Brown Patch---I had visited village Chak Mukam, then as a patrol Leader. In retrospect, I feel, we should have created a defended post there, if we wanted this to be shown on our side. But due to administrative reasons, it was not accepted and the village was almost left on its own. The villagers had shown a desire to be on our side. And, thus, we allowed Pakistan to dominate it from Lubgrian defended post.
Anyway, as per my orders, I was to rest at Brown Patch and then choose my route, date and time . I was to inform the battalion HQ before I moved. I was cautioned that it must be done within a week, as CO was to move for delienation talk to THAKOCHAK, in Jammu Area. To be precise, after reaching BROWN PATCH, I decided to rest during the next day and move to Village ChakMukam after 2 AM during the following night. I chose the time because I wanted to be in the village by first light the next day. I told my men and Battalion HQ only at 10 PM that night. My CO was surprised on this haste---but he only said, " I like your eagerness, best of luck".
By 5 AM, we had surrounded the village. I told my men to collect the villagers at a mosque in the centre of the village. While doing so, my men found some 7 men in Khaki dress sleeping in a house. Two to three men managed to escape. Their weapons were taken away and they were blind folded and tied up. They were made prisoners and brought near the Mosque. Soldiers are soldiers---they have their orders and would treat roughly, anyone who resists them. So were those Pakistani men In Khaki. I learnt they were from 14 Azad Kashmir Rifles of Pakistan. Anyway, one of my task was to get evidence, if any, of Pakistan's hold in the village.
So, I had these seven prisoners and also we had collected all things Pakistani---cigarette packets, Pakistani News papers and magazines from some houses. By 1100 hours, I had the whole village collected near the mosque and had been making them sing our National Anthem. As they were singing Jana Gana Mana , there was hustle and bustle at Pakistani Post Lubgrian. They were shouting abuses and so we were. I had well placed my machine guns on higher ground to respond to their fire. I was sure dominating them.
The men in Khaki joined in singing Jana Gana Mana-----and all of us were getting sadistic pleasure in making them sing this. Some of my men were veterans of earlier patrols which had failed. This was their finest hour of victory and they were being tough with men in khaki because they held them responsible for injuries to Capt VC Sharma and some other men in the previous patrol. The fault of the earlier patrols was that they used to start from 'Start Point' during early hours of the morning and they often got day-lighted by the time they reached the village. Also, I was told by some men that they used to move very slowly, thus alerting the Pakistani Post at Lubgrian. No doubts, we had surprised them this time
It was then that the radio conversation quoted above had taken place. When I told my CO about seven prisoners, he curtly asked me to free them and move away. The reason was our Brigade Commander was now getting jittery He had already earned a bad name for Kayian Bowl fiasco. He had got away by blaming the GOC by claiming that he had known everything and that's why GOC had directed him in writing to clear the Kayian Pocket. He was a pastmaster in passing the buck. This time too he was cleverly trying to pass it on to his subordinate i.e my CO but situation was seemingly getting out of hand and he realised that he might not be so lucky for the second time.Thus, he did not want to get caught in another local fight with Pakistanis. With new GOC in command, he would have been exposed for his fake projections.
(Brigadier MML Ghai had saved himself in the 'Kayian Bowl fiasco' by blaming his GOC Major General E D Souza of Maratha Light Infantry. He had said that he was asked by his GOC to evict Pakistanis from Kayian Bowl. The fact was that the GOC had merely asked him to sort out the issue because it was Brigade Commander who had laid claims to Kayian Bowl. In good faith GOC did not inform his Corps Commander, Lt General Sartaz Singh. Brigadier MML Ghai asked orders in writing for sorting out the matter. GOC, ill- briefed on the strength of Pakistan soldiers in the Kayian bowl---- some 20-30 men were claimed, where as it turned out an Infantry Brigade ( 3000 Men) in actual----had given a written directive to clear. GOC had thought it was only a matter of throwing out a platoon----which would be done by the brigade on the quiet. It was not to be so. Instead, it was a clear ploy to involve the GOC and mislead the Corps Commander that GOC had known about Pakistani presence in Kayian Bowl. The fact was otherwise.
Thus, the orders for eviction were also interpretted as use of reserve battalion and use of arty fire----which was forbidden in 1972. The permission was not taken. A whole battalion of Mahar Regiment was written off---followed by heavy casualities to a Sikh battalion , holding the shoulders of Kayian Bowl---which got butchered in a Pakistani counter attack. When the issue flared up, inquiry held, General E D'souza was blamed and Brig MM L Ghai got away by blaming the GOC. Unfortunately, Ghai rose to be a Lieutenant General and QMG of Indian Army. His kind were the pioneers of road to Tehleka, Sukhna and Adarsh Housing society. They were a trickle which has become a deluge now.)
My CO had proved his point to his Brigade Commander and he did not want the situation to further escalate. This is why he asked me to move on to "Rakhi Post". But as soon as I reached Rakhi Post I was asked to immediately get back to Brown Patch. There was some urgency. But when I reached there I found some big game going on------My battalion HQ had shifted to 'Left shoulder ----between Ghasla Top and Brown Patch '-----My company commander Major CMP Sinha with his company HQ was at Brown Patch------It was a different kind of a situation -----War without firing, as I later learnt------A real hand to hand war----
***********************************************************************************
As soon as I reached Brown Patch, I was asked by my Company Commander Major (Later Colonel) CMP Sinha to move to "Left Shoulder " forth with, where I was to meet the new GOC, Major General SK Sinha. GOC was coming to personally assess the latest situation around Chakmukam, which had threatened to become a zone of conflict, consequent to my patrol there. I was told that Pakistan had inducted a large number of additional troops in the Lipa Valley and they were all occupying the lower slopes--probably in wait for launching an attack to recapture the Ghasla Top -Ring Contour Ridgeline from us. Major CMP Sinha also told me that Brigade Commander, Brigadier MML Ghai, was particularly incensed with me for the whole fiasco.
Next day, exactly at 730 AM, I met my CO, Lt Col SS Sahrawat, in his office. He was tense---I could see his facial expressions. Rightly so, because just within three months of his command, he had not only fallen out with his Brigade Comander but probably, even GOC was unhappy. But I must commend the man----he did not display his unhappiness about me. Instead, he asked me as to what all I did in Chakmukam-----I frankly told him of every thing and handed over some goods and articles to him, which I had brought from ChakMukam. It included a Cigarette packet , an urdu magazine and a News paper published from Muzaffarabad in POK. He only said once as to why did I make them sing Indian National Anthem. I explained to him my reason. He remarked, " Well! this has caused the present conflict---all radio intercepts indicate an attack building up on us in a day or so. Forget it, you have done your job."
Exactly, at 8 AM, I was encountered by the Brigade Commander, Brigadier MML Ghai. He blasted me in front of all our officers, with his choosy abuses in English and I did the same to him silently, in my heart, in Punjabi. My CO showed his helplessness--but I could see his discomfort at the pitiable plight of his junior most officer, being on the firing line, like a lamb being cut to pieces by a butcher. Finally, my CO managed to say, " Sir, GOC is landing at the helipad in next five minutes." Brigade Commander said "OK "and moved away, sparing me further abuses.
Around the same time, my company commander, Major CMP Sinha, had purportedly radio messaged that Pakistani soldiers were climbing the slopes from all directions. But they were not holding their weapons in assault positions but 'sling arm'. This was a strange observation. I was ordered to rush back to Brown Patch. I later learnt that the said message was manipulated by the CO to make me disappear from the scene, as he did not want me to face the new GOC. Our adjutant had drafted the message and enacted as if it had come from my company commander-----who was also told about the message which he had purported to have sent to the Adjutant. I moved out. I was happy that I didn't have to face the FIRING of the GOC. I had enough of it from the Brigade Commander. It is better to face bullets of the enemy than wordly missiles of your seniors in anger.
As soon as I reached Brown Patch, I learnt that Pakistani Soldiers were holding positions some 300-400 meters short of Brown Patch, within the range of our small arms . They were about 400 to 500 men, shoulder to shoulder----it was strange---as this was no assault position. What was funny was the question as to what were they doing lying in the open in the broad day light. After the Kayian Bowl incident, we had orders not to open fire unless approved by the Corps HQ. Officially, matter was not even reported to Corps HQ and our GOC had come to personally assess the situation before reporting it.
Suddenly, I told my Company Commander, " Sir, if we have orders not to open the fire, I think, they too have their orders on the same lines"
" So", said Major CM P Sinha.
"Let us physiacally throw them out", I added.
" How" Major CMP Sinha gave an amusing look
"We will talk to them first to go back, then, physically push them out, if they do not listen", I was sounding so unmilitary like.
Major CMP Sinha burst out laughing----" You think we are participating in a wrestling championship here----Youngman, we are facing enemy, who is fully armed."
I went silent. Around 11 AM, a message came from CO to Major CMP Sinha to talk to Pakistani Commander on the spot and ask him to move back otherwise we would fire at them. We collected some 40 men and moved down slope towards the Pakistanis. Negotiations began when we were just 50 meters short of them. Rest of our men were at 'stand by position's in all our localities. We started advancing towards them menacingly---I was leading with a stick in my hand and mouthful of expletives at the top of my voice. We were rolling from higher ground to lower ground.
And lo! the scene had changed and Pakistani soldiers started running down slopes. Chase became interesting. Realising a golden opportunity, my company commander ordered all other men from Ring Contour, Brown Patch and Ghasla Top to start physical assault with sticks. And everywhere Pakistanis were on the physical run. CO was informed by Major CMP Sinha, who in between his briefing to the GOC announced the latest development. AD singh later told me that General SK Sinha asked the CO, if I were the same youngster.
When CO confirmed, he remarked, " I want such spirited youngmen in my command. Let him do this. But ask him to support short of Chak Mukam village. Take up positions some 200 meters short of it. Now, if they come , we would fire. I would convince the Corps Commander." We did exactly what we were told. After seeing us taking up positions around 2 PM, Pakistani soldiers also stopped and took up positions facing us. At places we were just lying five meters away from each other.
In the meanwhile, Pakistani opened up another front towards Ghasla Top from their post at Shishaldi feature. GOC at 'Left shoulder', saw this happening and he asked our Medium Machine Gun to open fire, but in the air. Pakistani soldiers ran away and our men moved down and occupied more advantageous positions.
Thus, the game spread to entireLipa Valley---everywhere both sides got into the act of physically grabbing land by positioning men. Both sides were reluctant to fire being prohibited by higher HQs. This wrestling match continued till next 15 days when the LC was finally agreed to on the ground, during a flag meeting at 'Amar Singh Tekri'. I was present there along with my commanding officer who was head of our delegation.
Some eight months later, in February 1973, while driving from Chowkiwal in J&K to Dharamshala in Himachal Paradesh, to attend Captain AD Singh's marriage, my CO in his happy mood, told me, " Rajee, you know your act of charging Pakistanis at Brown Patch had averted an Indo-Pak war. Our GOC had basically come to assess the ground situation and approve an attack plan to throw out the Pakistanis---This time we did not want to give in like the Kayian Bowl incident. We had an Infantry Brigade earmarked for this attack." He also informed me that the said brigade was in the process of concentrating near Niti Pass,----some 10 KMs behind our road head, when my act had taken place. He asked me as to what made me take that step. I couldn't think anything else but this:" Sir, irritation at our Commander's abuses!." "Yea! I thought so" , had said Colonel SS Sahrawat.
There are so many such type incidents which when you look back----you feel like being stupid and an idiot. But as a 21 year old youngman---you dont think of the consequences----You don't think ---just do it----caution is not your USP. Isn't it so?
LIPA VALLEY AS IT LOOKS TODAY----VIEW FROM PAKISTAN SIDE---PHOTO TAKEN BY A PAKISTANI ------NOT REALLY SITE OF VILLAGE CHAKMUKAM -------NOTE THE RIVER BEND----THE ONE YOU SEE WHERE RIVER DISAPPEARS----THIS WAS HOW VILLAGE CHAK MUKAM WAS LOCATED ON THE RIVER BEND ---THIS IS LIPA VALLEY---BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS CHAKMUKAM AREA-----IN 1972, THIS AREA HAD HARDLY ANY CIVILISATION EXCEPT THE VILLAGE OF CHAKMUKAM---TODAY IT IS MUSHROOMING.
Read more...
MALIBU TOWN-LA (CA-USA) ON PACIFIC HIGHWAY----- THE VIEW FROM PEPPERDINE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS!(I Visited it in Oct 2011)
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
NAGMA'S BANGLES--- PART THREE
This is in sequal to my serialised story "NAGMA's BANGLES"---which has appeared earlier in two parts---It is a true story. If you are interested you can read them by coming to my Sulekha Blogs page or on Blogspot. Story is based on some real life incidents----I have changed names and places. I therefore, wrote this for wider audience not only on Sulekha but elsewhere too----there are already applauses for this part from various other sites----won't you like to read this problem of DISPLACED FAMILIES with jumbled up and LOST ROOTS?
MY DILEMMA-TWO SNAPS
I am Harvinder ---Harvinder Singh. No, you don't know me. But you would soon know know me---May be you hate me after you listen to my story. Hate me?----that might be an under statement---you might like to shoot me down. My story--? You see, I am in a bit of dilemma, whether to let the cat out of the bag or let my story be kept wrapped up as it has remained till now. My heart asks me to vomit it out but brain demands a control over my emotions. It is a big confusion --I don't know what to do. Come on, don't you make fun of me---please try and understand my problem----even you would be puzzled when you have heard the full story----I bet on this----My life has become a strange story. You want hint---Well! you can say---it is a kind of love affair which should not have happened but it did and now the truth has shattered my world.
No, No, please this is not "Sohni-Mahiwal", "Heer-Ranjha" or "Laila-Majnu" or even "Romeo-Juliet" kind of love-tale----this is a modern day love story---but it has linkages to social ethos where this kind of love was treated as "sin" ---nay, a "grand sin". I committed this grand sin unknowingly. Whatever---Sin is a sin. And by the time, I had come across this truth, a lot of water has flown in the River Ganges.
I don't know who is at fault? I even don't know whether it was an 'offence' or not. Well, I leave it to you to decide. But I know, should you go by Indian social ethos---in fact, why Indian---for that matter any society---then, you are going to pronounce me a 'convict'. May be when you have fully heard the story, you might say disdainfully, " Oh, my god! what rubbish you are talking about-----damn you, what a loathsome story? ". Afterall, you are also part of the same social system.
What did you say? You don't get carried away by the hollowness of social ethos and outdated principles. Very well said, sir! Even I used to say the same and care too hoots for the redundant social values. I, too was very modern, forward looking and open-minded person. But everything has changed after marriage. I have been siezed by social norms and their social expectations. What to do? You have to fall in the line. Afterall, you have to live in this society.
How can one ignore the society? One has to be concerned about your family, their principles, traditions and customs. They make a ring around you in which you have to remain confined.If you step out of this, there will, definitely be a problem. Something of this nature, I have done. It was OK as long as I didn't know. But it seems, I would now be an object of ridicule by everyone.
There is no doubts that my family members would erupt in anger like a volcano and I know it would hurt my mother terribly. And this is what I don't want. She had really checked me and cautioned me. Now when she learns the truth about Adarsh Kaur, my wife, she would almost kill herself. By the way, Adarsh Kaur is not the real name of my wife. She was Zoya Chaudhary before marriage. She had herself changed her name after marriage. She became "Adarsh Kaur" from " Zoya Chaudhary". On learning this, my mother was highly pleased. She had accepted Zoya after initial objections to my courting her. Have you now understood my problem? What do you say, " you interest has further grown" ?
So you are stubborn and very keen to listen to my tale of woe. Well! they say love is blind----so, could be my love----you don't carry out investigations when you fall in love. Do you? Love is love---it works like computer programme---it does not bother for society and its stipulations. Love does not recognise religion, region, caste and creed differentiations. These things are local rules and norms of various segments in the social system. When it happens, love does not care for society and its relations---after all love is blind. But when real life begins, you begin to bother for the rules and relations of the society---you can not live out side. You start bothering for your relations---mother, father, brother, sister and others. It is because of this concern that I am in a conflict with my mind. And this is my dilemma. To be very frank our society does not allow nupital ties in some blood relations-----This is my problem.
Really speaking, I had not known this earlier. I came to know this only a few days back. Adarsh Kaur does not know it even today. Now you tell me as to how would have I known this knotty relationship? I belong to a different place---Adarsh comes from some other origin. We belong to modern era and live in a free and a liberal society. We were both working together at the same place. We became familiar. Familiarity led to close interaction. This caused mutual infatuation and affinity and so we fell in love.
First of all, Adarsh, alias Zoya's parents strongly objected on religious lines. But we refused to toe their line. Then, they said that we belonged to two different countries who were sworn enemies----I was an Indian and she was a Pakistani girl. We rubbished this arguement too. Both of us said that we would break ties with our countries, if they objected to our marriage.
Shortly speaking, we turned down all arguements and got married here in USA. Then,two years had gone by when my mother Jaswant Kaur had accepted our marriage. Afterall, parents are parents. She came to USA. Happily stayed with us for a month and then went back to India. Two years after this my wife's parents also accepted our marriage. They also stayed with us for two months. My father-in-law Mr. Inayat Ali was very happy with me.
I have been married for nine years now. There are two children too. But our social roots don't leave you. After so many years of marriage, this truth has come like a bolt from blue. You might be bored with this trash----might not be getting head or tail of this story. A lot of questions might be coming to your mind. Is it right? Some thing like-----
Are you asking as to who I was? I have already told you my name--Harvinder Singh----I have told you that I belong to India---I am highly educated---an engineer by profession----got an excellent job and keep hopping countries in connection with my profession. Well, if it interests you I am around 35 years old. My dilemma--? Oh, it is a photograph----which has become my dilemma. Must be wondering as to how a photo could cause such consternation? Ok, I would explain to you.
I come from Punjab State in India. I belong to a small village in SBS Nagar (Nawanshahar) district. My mother's name is Jaswant kaur and she stays with my younger brother Devinder Singh who is a Major in the Indian Army and currently posted in Junior Leaders Wing Belgaum (Karnatka). My father's name is Sardar Balwant Singh. I have never met him, though. It is alleged that he had left his family for better pasteures in our childhood.The year might be 1975-76---I am not too sure. strangely, this was not a new thing for my mother. She had the misfortune when she was two and a half years old and her mother left her for her paramour. Mother never talked about this---but maternal grandfather had told us. This was around 1950 or so. Our grandfather had learnt that she had gone over to Pakistan in 1951 as her paramour had rejected her.She did write a number of letters to our mother but as informed by our grandfather our mother used to tear them and throw it away. She hated her mother and her religion. This is why she had objected to our marriage, too. It was our maternal grandfather who brought up our mother. He married again but there was no issue and second wife died in a road accident in 1969. He never married thereafter.Our mother only took care of the house hold. She loved her father so much that she never wanted to leve him and the house. This led to tiff between our parents and one day our father left us ---never to look back again. No one knew where he had gone. He had just disappeared in the thin air.
I graduated in Mechanical engineering in 1995 from Punjab Engineering College Chandigarh. I was picked up by PUNWIRE, an electronic company of Punjab Government. I worked there for sometimes . In 1997, I came over to USA to do my MBA from UCLA- University of Los Angeles. I finished MBA in 1999 and got employed with 'E-Bay' I am here ever since then.
Here, I came in contact with Zoya Chaudhary , who too was working for E-Bayd. The nature of Job was such that she was working under me and daily interaction increased. She belonged to Pakistan. Slowly our interaction led to our falling for each other. When it came marriage, the families on both sides objected but we took the command decision and got married in USA. There were angry protests by both families. There were threats from Zoya's family. But they were all empty threats. 9/11 had changed everything and reduced the importance of Pakistani officials. They could not do anything by sitting in Pakistan.
Then, time lapsed. Months went by---then years rolled away ---suddenly my mother gave in because of her love for me. After two years of our marriage she had come to us----she had totally changed---she had accepted our marriage. She was extremely happy when my son Vikram was born. Thereafter it had become a routine for her to visit us every alternative year and we used to visit India in the following year. My mother had developed love for my wife and my son. There was nothing she held against Zoya or me. Now she stays with my younger brother In Belgaum, Karnatka. He is posted as instructor in Juniors Leaders Academy.
We had been married for four years when Zoya's parents too mellowed down and remembered their daughter. Zoya's mother Abida Begum had rung up one day. Thereafter it became a routine and misunderstanding was removed. It was the year 2006, when Zoyya's father Chaudhary Inayat Ali and his wife Abida begum came to us in USA. They stayed with us for two months. This period was enough to know each other and we came very close. It was then I came to know that My father-in-Law had studied in USA at Berkley University. He had been teaching History before he went to Pakistan with his wife Begum Abida.He had stayed here for many years. He got married to Begum Abida here only. But she was already maarried before she married Chaudhary Inayat Ali. She had left her first husband because of mutual imcompatibility but he did not like the idea of Begum abida marrying Inayat Ali. I was told that he was some Indian Sikh. I was not interested in the further story. She had once told me that her first husband's name was Sardar Balwinder Singh, who owned some Indian store in Fremont, San Francisco. He had troubled the duo quite a lot and that's why both had gone over to Pakistan.
When Zoya's parents were with us, same year my daughter Parminder was born. We all had celebrated. In any case Zoya's parents were so happy with us that they had bought us a new car as a gift from them. It seemed all differences had vanished and it was time to rejoice. whaat a great feeling it had been for last three years. And now, when everything was going smoothly, suddenly these two stupid PHOTOS have turned everything upset down-----It has made me sleepless. What would you have done if you were in my place? Should I divulge the truth to everyone or let it be as it is? I know you would ask me " What Truth"? Exactly, this is what is tearing me apart ---how to narrate this truth? Ok, I will tell you---but keep it with you----Be careful in telling others---
It is like this: Some days back Zoya has returned from Pakistan. She had gone to meet them after nine years. She has returned with an album. In this album there is a photograph of Sardar Balwinder Singh with Abida Begum and Zoya. It was disclosed by Begum Abida that Sardar Balwinder was Zoya's father. Now Zoya was keen to meet him. I too said" Why Not"?
We went to Fremont, San Francisco to meet him. We stayed in Milpitas Holiday Inn hotel. Zoya developed some viral fever. Therefore I had to go alone to meet Sardar Balwinder Singh. He was not at the store but I got his home address from the girl at the counter. He lived somewhere in the Pebbles Creek community,on the Grimmer Street, near Lake Elizabeth. As I rang the bell a 24 -25 year old girl opened the door. The way she looked and the spoke in totally Americanised accents, I was doubtful if the House belonged to some Indian.
Anyway I told her that I had come to meet Sardar Balwinder Singh. She asked me to come in but informed me that her parents had gone to New york for some business trip. I asked her about her mother. I was told that she was Judy william ---Balwinder's third wife. I was surprised and asked about the first wife. "Oh, she was an Indian---an illiterate lady ----back in India. It was before dad immigrated to USA.Second wife was a Muslim, who ditched him and went over to Pakistan. I am Christina his daughter from Judy Williams. I have brother too, who is in Afghanistan---he is in the army", Christina had replied. " Are you in touch with your step mother in India ?", I just asked, out of sheer curiosity. " No, No, but I am planning to visit India after I finish my graduation----dad's first wife and two sons live in Punjab---somewhere in Jalandhar District-----Are you from Jalandhar?" she asked. "No" I said, " I belong to a village near Nawanshahar" " what ? What did you say---- Nawanshahar----Yes, Yes-- Nawanshahar---this is what dad also says. ---Wait------" saying so she went inside and came back with an old album. She took out a snap and gave it to me and said, " Here is dad's Indian family". The moment I looked at the photo I was nonplussed. It was the an old blackand white photo of my mother with two small children---one was definitely me-----" I was flabbergasted. But I kept mum and excused myself to come out of the house. So, Balwinder Singh was also Balwant Singh. The revelation was terribly shocking for me because it meant Zoya and me were Brother and Sister".
I came back to Hotel and told a lie to Adarsh Kaur that Sardar Balwinder Singh did not live in Fremont and hs has shifted somewhere in New York. We would find out him in New York. Thus we came back to Los Angeles. But the very thought of my relationship with Adarsh Kaur was playing havoc with my mental state----But would happen if my mother and Zoya's mother come to know of it. I can see the storm coming. But Somehow I had reconciled and decided not to tell anything to anyone about this secredt. And I resolved to let it remain wrapped up with me only.
But things never work out the way you plan. Sometimes you learn that fate has its own course charted out. As if this photo was nothing---yesterday, I received another photo from my mother. She has sent this photo to Zoya. I have not given it to Zoya as yet. It has created a big confusion in my mind. This photo is of my mother as a child with her mother. As I looked at this photo, I instantly recognised her as Zoya's Grand mother----Her photo is there in the Album Zoya brought from Pakistan. My mother wants Zoya to find out this woman, called Nagma, in Pakistan. I don't know how after 58 years my mother has suddenly developed love for her long forgotten mother. I know Mother has given the name as NAGMA--but Zoya would immediately recognise her grand mother.
My problem was something else---now this photo would further complicate the matter because it is established that Chaudhary Inayat Ali, Zoya's father and my mother Jaswant Kaur were also brother and Sister, through a common mother. What a complicated relationship it is becoming? I don't know how the Socialogist would describe this relationship----whether we were brother and sister from Father's side or first cousins from my Mother's side or we were just husband and wife because of our children? How to cope up with this storm which is building in our otherwise well settled lives. I would have just ignored the whole thing---but for Christina's plans to go to india next year. Should I have a frank talk with her and dissuade her from going to India and thus hide this truth from everyone? Should I reveal the truth to every one and run the risk of ruining my well set married life-----I am confused--terribly confused. Would you help me and tell me a way out-----Please?
MY DILEMMA-TWO SNAPS
I am Harvinder ---Harvinder Singh. No, you don't know me. But you would soon know know me---May be you hate me after you listen to my story. Hate me?----that might be an under statement---you might like to shoot me down. My story--? You see, I am in a bit of dilemma, whether to let the cat out of the bag or let my story be kept wrapped up as it has remained till now. My heart asks me to vomit it out but brain demands a control over my emotions. It is a big confusion --I don't know what to do. Come on, don't you make fun of me---please try and understand my problem----even you would be puzzled when you have heard the full story----I bet on this----My life has become a strange story. You want hint---Well! you can say---it is a kind of love affair which should not have happened but it did and now the truth has shattered my world.
No, No, please this is not "Sohni-Mahiwal", "Heer-Ranjha" or "Laila-Majnu" or even "Romeo-Juliet" kind of love-tale----this is a modern day love story---but it has linkages to social ethos where this kind of love was treated as "sin" ---nay, a "grand sin". I committed this grand sin unknowingly. Whatever---Sin is a sin. And by the time, I had come across this truth, a lot of water has flown in the River Ganges.
I don't know who is at fault? I even don't know whether it was an 'offence' or not. Well, I leave it to you to decide. But I know, should you go by Indian social ethos---in fact, why Indian---for that matter any society---then, you are going to pronounce me a 'convict'. May be when you have fully heard the story, you might say disdainfully, " Oh, my god! what rubbish you are talking about-----damn you, what a loathsome story? ". Afterall, you are also part of the same social system.
What did you say? You don't get carried away by the hollowness of social ethos and outdated principles. Very well said, sir! Even I used to say the same and care too hoots for the redundant social values. I, too was very modern, forward looking and open-minded person. But everything has changed after marriage. I have been siezed by social norms and their social expectations. What to do? You have to fall in the line. Afterall, you have to live in this society.
How can one ignore the society? One has to be concerned about your family, their principles, traditions and customs. They make a ring around you in which you have to remain confined.If you step out of this, there will, definitely be a problem. Something of this nature, I have done. It was OK as long as I didn't know. But it seems, I would now be an object of ridicule by everyone.
There is no doubts that my family members would erupt in anger like a volcano and I know it would hurt my mother terribly. And this is what I don't want. She had really checked me and cautioned me. Now when she learns the truth about Adarsh Kaur, my wife, she would almost kill herself. By the way, Adarsh Kaur is not the real name of my wife. She was Zoya Chaudhary before marriage. She had herself changed her name after marriage. She became "Adarsh Kaur" from " Zoya Chaudhary". On learning this, my mother was highly pleased. She had accepted Zoya after initial objections to my courting her. Have you now understood my problem? What do you say, " you interest has further grown" ?
So you are stubborn and very keen to listen to my tale of woe. Well! they say love is blind----so, could be my love----you don't carry out investigations when you fall in love. Do you? Love is love---it works like computer programme---it does not bother for society and its stipulations. Love does not recognise religion, region, caste and creed differentiations. These things are local rules and norms of various segments in the social system. When it happens, love does not care for society and its relations---after all love is blind. But when real life begins, you begin to bother for the rules and relations of the society---you can not live out side. You start bothering for your relations---mother, father, brother, sister and others. It is because of this concern that I am in a conflict with my mind. And this is my dilemma. To be very frank our society does not allow nupital ties in some blood relations-----This is my problem.
Really speaking, I had not known this earlier. I came to know this only a few days back. Adarsh Kaur does not know it even today. Now you tell me as to how would have I known this knotty relationship? I belong to a different place---Adarsh comes from some other origin. We belong to modern era and live in a free and a liberal society. We were both working together at the same place. We became familiar. Familiarity led to close interaction. This caused mutual infatuation and affinity and so we fell in love.
First of all, Adarsh, alias Zoya's parents strongly objected on religious lines. But we refused to toe their line. Then, they said that we belonged to two different countries who were sworn enemies----I was an Indian and she was a Pakistani girl. We rubbished this arguement too. Both of us said that we would break ties with our countries, if they objected to our marriage.
Shortly speaking, we turned down all arguements and got married here in USA. Then,two years had gone by when my mother Jaswant Kaur had accepted our marriage. Afterall, parents are parents. She came to USA. Happily stayed with us for a month and then went back to India. Two years after this my wife's parents also accepted our marriage. They also stayed with us for two months. My father-in-law Mr. Inayat Ali was very happy with me.
I have been married for nine years now. There are two children too. But our social roots don't leave you. After so many years of marriage, this truth has come like a bolt from blue. You might be bored with this trash----might not be getting head or tail of this story. A lot of questions might be coming to your mind. Is it right? Some thing like-----
Are you asking as to who I was? I have already told you my name--Harvinder Singh----I have told you that I belong to India---I am highly educated---an engineer by profession----got an excellent job and keep hopping countries in connection with my profession. Well, if it interests you I am around 35 years old. My dilemma--? Oh, it is a photograph----which has become my dilemma. Must be wondering as to how a photo could cause such consternation? Ok, I would explain to you.
I come from Punjab State in India. I belong to a small village in SBS Nagar (Nawanshahar) district. My mother's name is Jaswant kaur and she stays with my younger brother Devinder Singh who is a Major in the Indian Army and currently posted in Junior Leaders Wing Belgaum (Karnatka). My father's name is Sardar Balwant Singh. I have never met him, though. It is alleged that he had left his family for better pasteures in our childhood.The year might be 1975-76---I am not too sure. strangely, this was not a new thing for my mother. She had the misfortune when she was two and a half years old and her mother left her for her paramour. Mother never talked about this---but maternal grandfather had told us. This was around 1950 or so. Our grandfather had learnt that she had gone over to Pakistan in 1951 as her paramour had rejected her.She did write a number of letters to our mother but as informed by our grandfather our mother used to tear them and throw it away. She hated her mother and her religion. This is why she had objected to our marriage, too. It was our maternal grandfather who brought up our mother. He married again but there was no issue and second wife died in a road accident in 1969. He never married thereafter.Our mother only took care of the house hold. She loved her father so much that she never wanted to leve him and the house. This led to tiff between our parents and one day our father left us ---never to look back again. No one knew where he had gone. He had just disappeared in the thin air.
I graduated in Mechanical engineering in 1995 from Punjab Engineering College Chandigarh. I was picked up by PUNWIRE, an electronic company of Punjab Government. I worked there for sometimes . In 1997, I came over to USA to do my MBA from UCLA- University of Los Angeles. I finished MBA in 1999 and got employed with 'E-Bay' I am here ever since then.
Here, I came in contact with Zoya Chaudhary , who too was working for E-Bayd. The nature of Job was such that she was working under me and daily interaction increased. She belonged to Pakistan. Slowly our interaction led to our falling for each other. When it came marriage, the families on both sides objected but we took the command decision and got married in USA. There were angry protests by both families. There were threats from Zoya's family. But they were all empty threats. 9/11 had changed everything and reduced the importance of Pakistani officials. They could not do anything by sitting in Pakistan.
Then, time lapsed. Months went by---then years rolled away ---suddenly my mother gave in because of her love for me. After two years of our marriage she had come to us----she had totally changed---she had accepted our marriage. She was extremely happy when my son Vikram was born. Thereafter it had become a routine for her to visit us every alternative year and we used to visit India in the following year. My mother had developed love for my wife and my son. There was nothing she held against Zoya or me. Now she stays with my younger brother In Belgaum, Karnatka. He is posted as instructor in Juniors Leaders Academy.
We had been married for four years when Zoya's parents too mellowed down and remembered their daughter. Zoya's mother Abida Begum had rung up one day. Thereafter it became a routine and misunderstanding was removed. It was the year 2006, when Zoyya's father Chaudhary Inayat Ali and his wife Abida begum came to us in USA. They stayed with us for two months. This period was enough to know each other and we came very close. It was then I came to know that My father-in-Law had studied in USA at Berkley University. He had been teaching History before he went to Pakistan with his wife Begum Abida.He had stayed here for many years. He got married to Begum Abida here only. But she was already maarried before she married Chaudhary Inayat Ali. She had left her first husband because of mutual imcompatibility but he did not like the idea of Begum abida marrying Inayat Ali. I was told that he was some Indian Sikh. I was not interested in the further story. She had once told me that her first husband's name was Sardar Balwinder Singh, who owned some Indian store in Fremont, San Francisco. He had troubled the duo quite a lot and that's why both had gone over to Pakistan.
When Zoya's parents were with us, same year my daughter Parminder was born. We all had celebrated. In any case Zoya's parents were so happy with us that they had bought us a new car as a gift from them. It seemed all differences had vanished and it was time to rejoice. whaat a great feeling it had been for last three years. And now, when everything was going smoothly, suddenly these two stupid PHOTOS have turned everything upset down-----It has made me sleepless. What would you have done if you were in my place? Should I divulge the truth to everyone or let it be as it is? I know you would ask me " What Truth"? Exactly, this is what is tearing me apart ---how to narrate this truth? Ok, I will tell you---but keep it with you----Be careful in telling others---
It is like this: Some days back Zoya has returned from Pakistan. She had gone to meet them after nine years. She has returned with an album. In this album there is a photograph of Sardar Balwinder Singh with Abida Begum and Zoya. It was disclosed by Begum Abida that Sardar Balwinder was Zoya's father. Now Zoya was keen to meet him. I too said" Why Not"?
We went to Fremont, San Francisco to meet him. We stayed in Milpitas Holiday Inn hotel. Zoya developed some viral fever. Therefore I had to go alone to meet Sardar Balwinder Singh. He was not at the store but I got his home address from the girl at the counter. He lived somewhere in the Pebbles Creek community,on the Grimmer Street, near Lake Elizabeth. As I rang the bell a 24 -25 year old girl opened the door. The way she looked and the spoke in totally Americanised accents, I was doubtful if the House belonged to some Indian.
Anyway I told her that I had come to meet Sardar Balwinder Singh. She asked me to come in but informed me that her parents had gone to New york for some business trip. I asked her about her mother. I was told that she was Judy william ---Balwinder's third wife. I was surprised and asked about the first wife. "Oh, she was an Indian---an illiterate lady ----back in India. It was before dad immigrated to USA.Second wife was a Muslim, who ditched him and went over to Pakistan. I am Christina his daughter from Judy Williams. I have brother too, who is in Afghanistan---he is in the army", Christina had replied. " Are you in touch with your step mother in India ?", I just asked, out of sheer curiosity. " No, No, but I am planning to visit India after I finish my graduation----dad's first wife and two sons live in Punjab---somewhere in Jalandhar District-----Are you from Jalandhar?" she asked. "No" I said, " I belong to a village near Nawanshahar" " what ? What did you say---- Nawanshahar----Yes, Yes-- Nawanshahar---this is what dad also says. ---Wait------" saying so she went inside and came back with an old album. She took out a snap and gave it to me and said, " Here is dad's Indian family". The moment I looked at the photo I was nonplussed. It was the an old blackand white photo of my mother with two small children---one was definitely me-----" I was flabbergasted. But I kept mum and excused myself to come out of the house. So, Balwinder Singh was also Balwant Singh. The revelation was terribly shocking for me because it meant Zoya and me were Brother and Sister".
I came back to Hotel and told a lie to Adarsh Kaur that Sardar Balwinder Singh did not live in Fremont and hs has shifted somewhere in New York. We would find out him in New York. Thus we came back to Los Angeles. But the very thought of my relationship with Adarsh Kaur was playing havoc with my mental state----But would happen if my mother and Zoya's mother come to know of it. I can see the storm coming. But Somehow I had reconciled and decided not to tell anything to anyone about this secredt. And I resolved to let it remain wrapped up with me only.
But things never work out the way you plan. Sometimes you learn that fate has its own course charted out. As if this photo was nothing---yesterday, I received another photo from my mother. She has sent this photo to Zoya. I have not given it to Zoya as yet. It has created a big confusion in my mind. This photo is of my mother as a child with her mother. As I looked at this photo, I instantly recognised her as Zoya's Grand mother----Her photo is there in the Album Zoya brought from Pakistan. My mother wants Zoya to find out this woman, called Nagma, in Pakistan. I don't know how after 58 years my mother has suddenly developed love for her long forgotten mother. I know Mother has given the name as NAGMA--but Zoya would immediately recognise her grand mother.
My problem was something else---now this photo would further complicate the matter because it is established that Chaudhary Inayat Ali, Zoya's father and my mother Jaswant Kaur were also brother and Sister, through a common mother. What a complicated relationship it is becoming? I don't know how the Socialogist would describe this relationship----whether we were brother and sister from Father's side or first cousins from my Mother's side or we were just husband and wife because of our children? How to cope up with this storm which is building in our otherwise well settled lives. I would have just ignored the whole thing---but for Christina's plans to go to india next year. Should I have a frank talk with her and dissuade her from going to India and thus hide this truth from everyone? Should I reveal the truth to every one and run the risk of ruining my well set married life-----I am confused--terribly confused. Would you help me and tell me a way out-----Please?
Read more...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)