This morning, during our golfing round, discussion veered round to GEN 'X' and GEN 'Y' . One of our fourome, a father of two GEN'Y' sons, suddenly burst out, " HUSBANDS, TODAY, ARE NO MORE HUSBANDS, THEY ARE MORE LIKE DOMESTIC PETS".
Stunned, I asked him the reason for such a brash out pouring. He elaborated : AFTER YOUR SON GETS MARRIED, ARRANGED OR LOVE MARRIAGE, HE THINKS HIS PARENTS ALWAYS TALK TRASH.-----TO HIM, HIS IN-LAWS WORDS MAKE A GOSPEL TRUTH". This happens with most of the parents whose sons are NRI and in the IT industry.
I remarked, " Sir, is it due to personal reasons or a very close observation of GEN 'Y' ?" I had known that both of his sons were married and we had a good impression of his daughters-in-law. On the face of it the DILs were very well-behaved and they were very happy in-laws.
His answer further stunned us. The observation was made by his youngest daughter -in-law. She is a Punjabi girl, daughter of a very senior retired army officer----she is an epitome of good behaviour and obviously a very cultured girl. My friend informed me that her statement was based on her observing her colleagues in the IT industry. Of course, her two brothers, and Sisters-in-law have corroborated her impression.
She is in USA and working with a renowned IT company in San Diego. Though, her empirical study refers to only Punjabi boys, but she found the boys from Andhra, Haryana, Delhi, HP, J&K, Karnatka, Delhi and Tamil Nadu are no better. Her study excludes boys from Bihar, Western UP and Rajasthan.
She finds girls from Western region, head the list of magicians, converting boys into domestic pets. But girls from all over India, who are financially INDEPENDENT, show this streak of magic. This is also the reason for rising sea of break-ups and divorces. May be boys develop revulsion and show some gumption to chart out an independent path ! She has no data on North East and West Bengal.
Some minutes back, I confronted a young girl to see her reaction. She blasted me left, right and centre : Uncle, why are you making so much of noise? Is n't it a good turn of the tide? For centuries, you men had reduced the woman as a domesticated 'CAT'. For a while, enjoy the fun as a domesticated pet ------"
I had no answer---perhaps some of you might have the answer to her legitimate query. I only pity the parents, who bear the brunt of this change over of their sons. In Haryana, before they marry their sons, they disown them legally. This practice might spread in North India very fast, for, you never know, when this PAAPU, under the magical spell of his wife, might shunt them out of the house. Parents of PAPPUS, are you reading this?
Don't you think the pros and cons sounds very interesting----such views coming from young girls need to be reviewed-----I thought it would be appropriate to ask the Sulekhites. May be they have different views. It is NO offence to anyone person or the region-----Punjabis, please excuse me if you think I called Punjabi boys as PAPPUS.
Any comments! Welcome, please, within the limits of decency and chivalry-----I accept everything.
John F Williams posted 3 hrs ag
Hello Rajee, Let me frank with you; normally if the Blog is lengthy I don't read the full version but comment on the face value ot the Blog Title.Further you may not be aware that I have 75 % Eye -disability and that is why I can't afford to read the lengthy Blogs. My apology for the improper appraoach to you Blog. With best wishes-JFW
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rajee kushwaha posted 3 hrs ago
Dear JFW, Sir, I don't think you have read the blog in its entirity ----I am not talking about my personal experiences but observations made by a young married girl-----conveyed to me by his FIL-----May be she had said in some different context and we are quoting her differently. All the same it did evoke my interest It seemed very interesting and I put it down. And sir, it might NOT be applicable to modern gegeration only. Thanks anyway. I am grateful to you. Regards. Rajee
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V-S-Gopal posted 3 hrs ago
Dear Rajeeji, Very interesting! I am clueless about what is really happening in families in general. You are discussing educated and moneyed families as such. Older parents don't have to need any help from their sons unless they are too old or in some ways dependent. It's possible that their daughters-in-law have their own minds and grandiose ideas about their independence and status! They will be working, and earning heftily, a sign of modern times, as so for these "girls" the parents-in-law take the last priority! But how would the sons become "pets" to their wives? Pets in what ways? Do you mean that they can be dictated to (rather than pampered like pets)? Possibly! A sign of changing times! Cheers and regards! vs gopal PS: I like Ashu's comments! Make sense!
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John F Williams posted 4 hrs ago
Dear friend Totally a wrong statement; seems you have a bitter experience. With best wishes-JFW
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pradeep arun posted 7 hrs ago
it appears to me that these are the socialization problems!! - pradeep arun
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ashualec posted 9 hrs ago
Uncle , the problem is that people think that the "DILS " have changed their sons.My view is that the sons were already parasites ..the female came and acted as a support .I feel today's generation most of them sons and daughters are becoming very self centered .When they do not think of their parents , how will they think of their inlaws unless they have something to gain from them .I blame the parents specially mothers for this situation, if you mollycoddle your son too much , he becomes a programmed machine who first follows the mother's instructions and then switches over to his wife.Any selfmade gur or girl would not do it ....I am sure about it .
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